In class today, I wrote a simulated email to a simulated advertiser about his simulated problem. Go figure. It is getting chilly here and I saw a leaf that was red yesterday. I also saw a sticker that said: "Vote with your brain. Not your vagina. Obama/Biden 2008." Times are crazy.
The other day happened to be "International Talk Like a Pirate Day," which is yet another fantastic invented holiday which seems to have the sole purpose of giving us pale office workers something to do in our not-so-spare time. A manager in our office sent out this link, which, if you're feeling too lazy to click, endorses Pirate Pick-Up lines such as "I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon" and "That's some treasure chest you've got there." Although I didn't hear any of these thrown around our office, I did see something equally offensive on my way home: a large gaggle of college girls walking down the street, giggling loudly as they attended to a delighted BB, brandishing an eye patch.
At all times, but especially during these moments, I am always astonished at how little BBs really have to do to instantly get the attention of any surrounding girls. Top 5 tricks of the trade that I've noticed (for all you aspiring BBs) are as follows:
5) Create more testosterone than estrogen (an entirely involuntary activity, from what I know)
4) Wear something remotely dressy, like a button-up shirt or a clean shirt.
3) Say something even remotely intelligible. For example: "Good morning" or "Hey" or even "Glurg..." have proven effective from my observations.
2) Stand within 5-10 feet of any one girl. She instantly senses him (BB-radar, I suppose) and makes him the center of attention.
1) Smile. Warning: This may prove too effective. Make sure you haven't accidentally asked a girl on a date with this tactic.
Hm.
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