on last weekend's extravaganza

I'm listening to "Keith Urban" on Pandora on 'deafeningly loud' and wearing my red slippers at work, as we once again have our own climate zone on our side of the office, aptly named "Siberia." Now, on to business:

Brunch – Waited for 1 hour to stuff our faces with French toast, omelets and pancakes. Totally worth it.

Bartending Class – Jeff, the teacher, was either high or drunk or both. He, at one point, told me I was "fired" because I had put "Coke" (brown water) instead of "Cranberry" (red water) in my highball glass. Yes, I know the term "highball" glass. No, I will probably never use the term again. The highlight of the class was Jeff's maniacal use of the remote for the room's sound system, which played a mix of club-bump-and-grind. This stereo system was Jeff's solution for "awkward silences"; every time talk began to die down, and people began to look around, wondering what the heck they were doing at a fake bar in the middle of the day with colored water in the soda gun, Jeff would fluidly raise his remote by his ear, and pump up the volume until our doubts were drowned out by a Justin Timberlake or Kanye West anthem to drunkenness.

KC and the Sunshine Band – Best described by a list of spectacular eccentricities:

1. A 57-year old lead man in tight pants and sequined shirts
2. Back up dancers with more clothes off than on. Frequent cringing on our part.
3. Pot smoking men (with wives and children in tow) yelling obscenities at aforementioned dancers such as "I'm divorced!!" and "I want some of THAT"
4. Frequent fist pumping and hand waving, and references to Cher's Farewell Tour (jokes which I apparently should not find humorous, but did)